Let me warn you, NEVER travel on the Sunday after Thanksgiving or Christmas, if you do not have to, particularly if you are heading south, because the following Monday will be just about as bad. Due to the Lyme issue of not being able to sleep, my daughter was not in any shape to drive. And because I was in a big hurry, we pushed through with as little stops as possible. I was tired when I arrived and I am just now, finding my feet in order to look at why I am here.
We also came so my daughter could make one of her quarterly appointments with her Lyme specialist. After an email interchange last evening, we are seeing that we are going to have to find another doctor because this one is probably brilliant at what he does, yet is a poor communicator and last evening’s email exchange ended in a rebuke and then pschyo-babble about our daughter being passive-aggressive and hostile. We can only assume because she used the word “still” in saying that her phone number was the same, that he felt she was being snarky. Now, I do have a daughter that can be snarky, but this one is not it. She loves literature, language and grammar. Her words mean exactly that. “My phone number is still xxx-xxx-xxxx”.
We think in the end that he wanted her to give him her phone and email address every time she emails him. To tag it on her email. But that was not stated clearly and in trying to figure out what he wanted he accused her of wasting his precious time. We very well may get a bill for his lack of being able to clearly say…. “include your email and phone number every time you email me”. Several exchanges took place until Hubby wrote and then that too came back in communicated snipets, but I think we finally understood, although it was not clearly stated. I don’t think it would ever occur to him that the way he speaks in snipets is poor communication and he might actually be the problem here. We can only assume he felt she was playing games with him. The last exchange went so far as to say that his “goal was teach and until she does handles herself, she did not learn” then listed off three pschyo-analytical phrases that honestly do not apply to her. Those of you that know her you would be shaking your heads like we are…
Now, I try not to baby my adult children but honestly, if I were to post this email exchange, you would go “What is he talking about?” She obviously has to go through the next phone call and perhaps even an appointment, which will cost us big money, because she needs to continue on her meds. But we in the meantime will be looking for a doctor willing to treat her and not pschyo-analyze her every email exchange. In reality and in the real world, miscommunications can take place without there being underlying psychological reasons for it.
He reminds us greatly of another man that was a poor communicator and that did much upset and damage to this family and friends. We are not paying this one to be our pastor or counselor, but to treat bugs in her body. This doctor’s rebuke of her was unjust and she has had enough public and private unjust rebuking in the past few years. And as her parent we are grieved over this latest incident. The study of people can be fascinating and even make one cynical if we allow it….yet, it also teaches one how to turn from personality types. And I think we are at a turning point—at almost $1000 an hour, we do not have to pay for this kind of “smartest guy in the room” treatment. So please pray for us as we search for another doctor, who is competent, perhaps not as costly, and certainly not as “smart”.