Mom is into sticks and twigs bread. Poor Dad hardly has any teeth left and the twigs in his bread are bothersome to him. I am not sure that I can explain why this does not seem to alter my mother’s bread buying habit nor will I try. Food can be a major source of contention between Mom and I, so I just do the best that I can and work around her when I can.
I know that she is struggling with contentment issues with Dad right now because he still has not totally regained where he was before “the pills” knocked him down. We suspect, along with the doctor, that the hallucinations are due to dehydration. Along them comes the almost anorexia behavior of not wanting to eat at times. I have been through this with him before (on more than one occasion) and I have fussed and fussed with my mother every time she has ever said he is too fat and doesn’t need to eat. (His oncologist says he needs to be eating and that weight loss should not be a consideration!)
In discussion with Hubby this morning, we have decided to attempt to put them on a schedule (not very likely we can make it happen) but we can at least get him out of bed earlier and fed breakfast at a closer to breakfast time than high noon. (And yes, it can become a struggle as to who cooks his eggs for breakfast! Hubby can do this feat of cooking eggs, with less complication than I can.)
The other thing that I do is send food out or deliver it. Things that I think might get eaten. I.e. the bread or any kind of soft salad made with real mayonnaise (Dad likes mayo). Mom appreciates pea salad as well. If Dad doesn’t like what I send out, I will feed it to the chickens. Mom is old school and throwing out food is considered BAD. And while I do understand that and try not to be wasteful, Dad’s dietary need for calories is also a concern and I don’t consider throwing out a few bites of food waste—just very good chicken food!
Not to paint Mom as some horrible person, Dad can be a difficult man at times particularly with this food topic. Dad has always really liked Mom’s food so this source of contention between them must be very difficult for her. That I do understand! Sometimes you just want to smack him upside the head with a frying pan. One meal he will eat something and like it, then the next he will turn up his nose. I cannot explain this; it must have something to do with the medicine he takes because this problem started after he started the cancer medicine; prior to that he ate everything with no grumps. Now he will have days when he likes things like asparagus and the next day he will not eat it. Poor Mom ends up frustrated and upset.
And then there are other times when I want to smack her with the frying pan. He will be sitting there eating just fine and she will start grumping about how he won’t eat anything anymore (while he is sitting there eating and enjoying it) AND then they will start bickering…. Add to the fact that both of them are hard of hearing!
This is just daily doing around here….