It rained on Monday, always a blessing this time of year due to the vast array of agriculture in this part of the country. It’s good for the cows and the cabbages!
It was also a special blessing for us as well. I have one last tree stump that needed burning out from Hurricane Charlie. There were a total of 19 and this last one sat so close to the house that I had been afraid to tackle it. After sitting another three years, it has rotted down even more, so I asked Hubby to put my small tree stump burning barrel over it and went to work. This is a 55 gallon drum cut with air vents at the bottom that helps to contain the fire. In addition to this, I still had four boxes of “old tax records” that came out of my father-n-law’s house from several years ago. I found these stuffed back on the floor of my closet. My mother-in-law kept stuffing the yearly tax records into one of the her bedroom closets until there was about 25 years’ worth of boxes. Knowing that she had a unique filing system that sometimes consisted of other things aside from just business records, I have always worked through these boxes with some care making sure not to toss out some pertinent bit of family history or the rare dollar bill or two.
This job is not overly tedious and it does not take an inordinate amount of time but it is not without some thoughts…as one stands and pitches in old checks, bank statements, lists of expenses for tax purposes, etc….names, dates, and even occasions come up from time to time that elicit memories.
Some of these records have been really old reaching back to the time when the kids were still at home and not yet married. I have learned about small loans, the apartments that my mother-in-law once proudly owned. And even leftovers from the gas station. In today’s batch of burning of tax records, I learned that my Hubby earned about $400 more in 1978 than his sister…he worked at his Dad’s gas station and she worked at a store out by the old TG&Y (I wonder if my memory has that correct?!) Now while this is really an interesting fact it did bring back memories of 1978 and these two siblings in all their youthful glory.
The one thing that has come up over and over in the years as I have set myself to this task of burning—and that is my mother-in-law was a most generous person. It was not showy or overly elaborated but thoughtful and generous. She often showered her family with gifts—sometimes with packages that she hauled to the UPS store and sometimes with monetary gifts. She also gave to others, some extended family and some just friends. Often thoughtful gifts of flowers or magazines, or some other thing that felt the person would enjoy. I suspect that if you sat and talked with each of her “kids” and they got their memories jogged they would all be able to tell you a story about how Momma was good to them by blessing them with thoughtfulness.
The one I want to retell here came from another time when I was burning…. It was a most difficult time in our marriage. The Army had had Hubby gone more than he was home, I had just gone through a pregnancy with his being out of town more for most of it and then after baby number two came along this one particular Captain thought our marriage needed a bit more stress and sent Hubby to South America. Years later, as I stood at a burn barrel much like the one today, I came across a phone bill and memories flooded in. While my Husband was gone, his mother had given him her long distant calling plan and he used it. (a bit too liberally) Those phone calls were like a lifeline and helped us make it through a very difficult time. As I pitched those bills into the fire, I stood there and cried wishing that I could have thanked this dear woman for her kindness to us. In our own selfishness of the time, we neglected to fully appreciate this kindness she had given us by providing much needed communication.
I would imagine if the siblings gathered around they all would have their stories of how Momma had given of herself to support her kids--whether it was financial, keeping the grandkids, or simply just encouragement. But it was not just Betty that did this, if one takes the time to talk to the old timers around here, one quickly learns, it was her husband as well. He did not give so much monetarily but he did give of his time, he was a private man yet he had a reputation of always being helpful if he was able.
Yes, burning reduces the clutter, it moves us on...but it does not keep us from holding dear those memories.